dancing through the maze

Right now, I am angry. Maybe angry is not the word. MAD!!! That's it!! I am good old-fashioned, southern-style SPITTIN' MAD!!! I am so mad I have heartburn. There is a situation that I have been following in the news. In a town near me an eighth grade science class got into an intense discussion about evolution verses creation. There were a few brave students who were willing to stand up and talk about what they believe in. I don't know their names but I am so proud of them. Well, these or this (I honestly don't know) student(s) decided to anonymously leave a bible on this teachers desk as a Christmas present. Again, I am very proud. This is where the story goes a little crazy. The teacher then proceeds to go on Facebook and call this action “a hate-crime” and say that this “crime would not go unpunished.”

There are a few points I want to make before I continue the story:

1. When did it become a “crime” in America to share your faith? Well, so far it hasn't, but this incident is a very shaky step in that direction. I can see very clearly how easy it would be for this teacher and others like to her start lobbying congress. In Ted Dekker's book Sinner, he creates a not too distant future where congress has passed a “Tolerance Act” saying that you can believe anything you want, but sharing your beliefs with someone who doesn't believe them is not tolerant and therefore a hate-crime. I know it is fiction, but we are close, and could get there so easily.
2. At some point people who believe in creation or “intelligent design” (as the scientific community is calling it now) need to stand up and demand that schools start recognizing it as a valid theory. You see, that's all evolution is, a theory. It has NEVER been proven. It has become the accepted theory on life, but it is not the only theory with scientific proof. Did you know there are many top scientists that believe in intelligent design, and many of these are not Christians. They just see things on the cellular level that are too complex to believe any kind of coincidence lead to them. Honestly if you study evolution, it takes a lot more faith to believe in the outrageous coincidences they say lead to life than to believe someone created it.

Now for the rest of the story. When kids, then parents, and finally the school board saw these comments the decided to suspend the teacher. . . with pay. Now let me get this straight she threatens a student (“This crime will not go unpunished”), and she gets a paid vacation. Yeah, that sounds about right. AREYOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! Well, I got a hold of myself after that. I understand that there had to be a investigation, and she was innocent until proven guilty of any wrong-doing. It would be unfair to her if it turned out she did nothing wrong and had to lose 3 months pay. I talked myself down from that one.

Then I watched the news this morning. I promise I'm trying to stay calm. The school board decided to remove her from the classroom and make her district coordinator for middle-school science instruction. That sounds nice doesn't it? She was removed from the classroom. . . and PROMOTED!!!! My husband didn't catch it the first time. We had to rewind it for him to hear it. He heard the “removed” part, but didn't catch the fact the she was moved from a local position to a district position.. She is now not just over the science education of eight grade students of one school but all middle-schoolers in the county! Her resume is going to read for x amount of years I was an eight grade science teacher then I was District Coordinator for Middle-School Science Instruction. Yep, that is definitely a promotion. SHE GOT A PAID VACATION AND A PROMOTION FOR THREATING A STUDENT! Can you scream it with me? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!

Isn't it a relief to know that not only do our kids have to stand up and face ridicule for their religious and scientifically plausible beliefs, but that the people who ridicule them will be promoted? (I'm sure you get the sarcasm dripping from this remark.) Our beliefs about evolution and creation/intelligent design aside, this was wrong. No teacher should be promoted for ridiculing and threatening a child. No matter the subject behind it this should never happen!

I think I might be getting ready to disappoint some of my friends out there. I just want to let you know in advance this might not be what you think. That being said. . .

I hear a lot of talk out there today about people in the church being fake. You know what I'm talking about. People say that the church is so fake because we all paint smiles on our faces and say we are fine when we aren't. I guess I get that to a point, but honestly it seems like people don't want us to have any privacy. And while I'm being honest it seems like sometimes those people who want us to "be real” are really just nosy. Case in point: If asked how am doing I try to be honest. But "just having and bad day" or "got a lot on my plate right now" never seems to be enough. I always get follow up questions and saying out loud "I don't want to talk about it" makes everyone uncomfortable. The fact of the matter is, not everything that goes on in my life is your business!

Let me clarify a few things for those of you who don't know me. 1: I am a very open person. There aren't many things about my life that I will shy away from talking about. 2: I am also a private person. There are some things that I want to stay between me and God, or me, God and a few close friends. 3: I am a moody person. Whether or not I want to talk about something usually depends on my mood. Sometimes, I just don't want to talk about things.

Now having said all that I have a few questions for those of you that think people are fake. 1: Are you that person's friend? 2: Jesus tells us to carry one another's burdens. . . are you ready to do that for that person? 3 : What is the real motivation behind your concern. . . do you care or are you just curious?

So, I'm going to throw some suggestions out there for those of you frustrated with the fake. The next time you ask someone how they are doing and you think there answer is fake, just pray for them with out knowing the specifics. It will help a lot more than your curiosity. Let vague honestly be enough. You can ask if they want to talk about it, but be willing to let it go if they say no. Let that person know if they need a friend you are there. Let people tell you their secrets on their own terms. Give a person their privacy, and let God deal with the rest.

Here is the deal. My husband is in full-time ministry. I understand that I live in a glass house because of that. But I never signed up to tell everyone everything. If I need help or am going through something, I tell my close friends. If you ask how I'm doing and I smile and say "fine," it might be my "church face" and it might not. You should know that "fine" doesn't mean "great," so I'm not lying. You need to consider that I have my reasons for not wanting to share everything, and you need to trust me and God to work those things out. My point is: I have a "church face” and I am comfortable with that. You need to be, too.

Disclaimer: I looked up 1 statistic...the rest is my opinion...

I was watching part of The View this morning and they had all this stuff about match making and Valentine's Day and it got me thinking...a dangerous thing.

We have all heard the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but listen to this statistic I got off of divorcerate.org, "50% of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, in Springfield, Missouri."

So let's break this thing down. It seems to me that the people who go in believing they have an out are the people who get divorced. It would explain why the 2nd and 3rd rates go up. They go in to marriage believing the "happily ever after" fairy tale and when that doesn't happen they take their planned escape and try again with someone else...and then again. You want to not only save your marriage but have a great one here's what you should do, say these words with me:

Divorce is not an option!!!!

Now, there are extenuating circumstances to this rule. I'm talking to the people with your average marriage. The people who may one day say they want a divorce because they just don't love each other anymore. I can just say this: THAT IS A LOAD OF BULL POOPIE! That is no reason to give up on a commitment you made to stay with this person "till death do you part". Adam and I wrote our own vows, but that was one phrase I made sure to include...'till death parts us...no other options!

The thing we miss so often in our feel good, pro-choice culture is that marriage is a choice, divorce is a choice, and yes to love, to continue to love is a choice. Yes love is an emotion, and like all emotions it can come and go. You have to choose to pro-actively love. It is not a choice that is easy to make at times. We have to push through hurt feelings or complacency. We have to love our spouse (here's the kicker) in a way that makes them feel loved, not the way that is easiest for us. We have to invest time and effort into our marriages. You know what makes you want to do that more than anything else...the knowledge that this is the only marriage you have and if you don't invest in it you'll live in misery. It is the plain and simple truth. If you have no other options you make it work. You choose to love, then your spouse chooses to love, then that old emotion returns with greater force because it is backed by a "no matter what" commitment.

Here's the deal: every marriage goes through tough times. Times when it really would be easier to give up, but is that the choice you want to make? Do you really want to be a quitter?



My favorite marriage book: The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman
Disclaimer #2: I am NOT "pro-choice", I AM pro-life...just wanted to make that clear. ;)