Ever have a clogged drain...maybe not completely clogged, but one that the water runs so slowly down that all the icky stuff gets left on the sides of the sink? I think that was me.
The last 8 months or so have been...we’ll go with challenging. I’ve faced things that I never thought I would face. I’ve had to be someone I never thought I would be. I’ve had to manage situations and emotions I never thought I would have to manage. I know I’m speaking in code. I’ll go into all the details at a later date. Point being, I sucked it up and prayerfully dealt with the blows life was landing on me. I sucked it up to the point of being a yucky clogged drain. The water and the Spirit still moved through me but at such a sluggish pace that I ended up with all the nasty stuff clinging to me. It was not a fun place to be.
So last week Adam and I went to a conference. Not just any conference, but re:create, the conference for creative people that invests in the people not just their craft. It is the best conference EVER (if you’re like me). I started the conference like a sluggish drain after a long night. The water had made its way down but all the ickies remained stuck to the sides. Then it happened: spiritual draino. Through the music, the worship, the people, and the spirit of God in that place my drain got dramatically unclogged. Water in the form of tears flowed and washed away all the yuck of life that had been sticking to me. It would say it was a time of refreshing but that isn’t right. Refreshing is tubing slowly down a river. I was washed away in the current of a broken dam and I relished it. I needed every moment of not being in control of my emotions, of my schedule, of my life.
It was in the beauty of not being in control that I realized this is what life is supposed to look like. Not in the sense that I let someone else dictate how I spend my time every day, but that I let go of my need to be in control, and let God do it. I need to stop waiting until the drain is clogged and gunk is sticking to me to let go of what I can’t do anything about anyway. I need to not only take the time to rest in my Father’s arms (because I had done that) I need to leave my burden at his feet when I leave and not pick it up again. I need to not let my drain get bogged down with all the craziness of life. I need to let the refreshing happen constantly so maybe I won’t need the broken dam.
It took 4 days of crying to flush my system of all the gunk. 4 days worth of stuff I had held on to. 4 days worth mess I had to let go of. I am so grateful for that 4 days. I’m grateful for the broken dam and the unclogged drain. I’m grateful to feel alive in God again, instead of spiritually sluggish. I'm grateful for a renewed fullness of life and the freedom flow again...
The last 8 months or so have been...we’ll go with challenging. I’ve faced things that I never thought I would face. I’ve had to be someone I never thought I would be. I’ve had to manage situations and emotions I never thought I would have to manage. I know I’m speaking in code. I’ll go into all the details at a later date. Point being, I sucked it up and prayerfully dealt with the blows life was landing on me. I sucked it up to the point of being a yucky clogged drain. The water and the Spirit still moved through me but at such a sluggish pace that I ended up with all the nasty stuff clinging to me. It was not a fun place to be.
So last week Adam and I went to a conference. Not just any conference, but re:create, the conference for creative people that invests in the people not just their craft. It is the best conference EVER (if you’re like me). I started the conference like a sluggish drain after a long night. The water had made its way down but all the ickies remained stuck to the sides. Then it happened: spiritual draino. Through the music, the worship, the people, and the spirit of God in that place my drain got dramatically unclogged. Water in the form of tears flowed and washed away all the yuck of life that had been sticking to me. It would say it was a time of refreshing but that isn’t right. Refreshing is tubing slowly down a river. I was washed away in the current of a broken dam and I relished it. I needed every moment of not being in control of my emotions, of my schedule, of my life.
It was in the beauty of not being in control that I realized this is what life is supposed to look like. Not in the sense that I let someone else dictate how I spend my time every day, but that I let go of my need to be in control, and let God do it. I need to stop waiting until the drain is clogged and gunk is sticking to me to let go of what I can’t do anything about anyway. I need to not only take the time to rest in my Father’s arms (because I had done that) I need to leave my burden at his feet when I leave and not pick it up again. I need to not let my drain get bogged down with all the craziness of life. I need to let the refreshing happen constantly so maybe I won’t need the broken dam.
It took 4 days of crying to flush my system of all the gunk. 4 days worth of stuff I had held on to. 4 days worth mess I had to let go of. I am so grateful for that 4 days. I’m grateful for the broken dam and the unclogged drain. I’m grateful to feel alive in God again, instead of spiritually sluggish. I'm grateful for a renewed fullness of life and the freedom flow again...
