dancing through the maze

I have read several good books recently and watched some good movies, but I am bothered by a trend I've been experiencing. A lot of these stories have not had happy endings. The hero doesn't get the girl, or the heroine dies, or something just leaves you unsettled. I read a review of a book that criticized the author for allowing the hero and heroine to get everything they wanted out of life and have their “happily ever after.”

It leaves me wondering, what has happened to us? Why is it that we as a culture don't really believe in happy endings anymore? Has the harshness of life made us believe that they don't exist? Has the astounding divorce rate robbed us of the belief that happily ever after can happen? Have we become so cynical that happy endings seem childish and so unlikely it’s laughable? I know that suffering and pain are a part of life. I understand that we are going to face hardships, but does that mean we don't ever get the happy ending?

I have been feeling very dissatisfied with the lack of happy endings. I was actually angry with one book. It was the third in a trilogy. I had invested time and money into these books and it ended wrong! I read the authors commentary about how the story came full circle and was complete. I don't buy it. I believe in happy endings and that is what I want to read and to see. I want to see triumph over struggle. I want to see people achieve their goals and get things right in the end. I want to see people end up making the right choice, and being rewarded for it.

I started thinking, why is this so important to me? I realized that the happy ending I want to see in my books and movies is a reflection of an eternal truth in my heart. You see, for those of us who have made the right choice, the happy ending is inevitable. No matter the struggle we face or what we have to overcome in this life we have the promise of eternal life. And not only eternal life but that life with the lover of our souls. My friends, we get our “happily ever after”. The bible says God has placed eternity in the hearts of men. So I believe God has placed that desire for "happily ever after" in our hearts, because He wants to be that for us. He is our happily ever after. And that is reason to rejoice.

I think I might be getting ready to disappoint some of my friends out there. I just want to let you know in advance this might not be what you think. That being said. . .

I hear a lot of talk out there today about people in the church being fake. You know what I'm talking about. People say that the church is so fake because we all paint smiles on our faces and say we are fine when we aren't. I guess I get that to a point, but honestly it seems like people don't want us to have any privacy. And while I'm being honest it seems like sometimes those people who want us to "be real” are really just nosy. Case in point: If asked how am doing I try to be honest. But "just having and bad day" or "got a lot on my plate right now" never seems to be enough. I always get follow up questions and saying out loud "I don't want to talk about it" makes everyone uncomfortable. The fact of the matter is, not everything that goes on in my life is your business!

Let me clarify a few things for those of you who don't know me. 1: I am a very open person. There aren't many things about my life that I will shy away from talking about. 2: I am also a private person. There are some things that I want to stay between me and God, or me, God and a few close friends. 3: I am a moody person. Whether or not I want to talk about something usually depends on my mood. Sometimes, I just don't want to talk about things.

Now having said all that I have a few questions for those of you that think people are fake. 1: Are you that person's friend? 2: Jesus tells us to carry one another's burdens. . . are you ready to do that for that person? 3 : What is the real motivation behind your concern. . . do you care or are you just curious?

So, I'm going to throw some suggestions out there for those of you frustrated with the fake. The next time you ask someone how they are doing and you think there answer is fake, just pray for them with out knowing the specifics. It will help a lot more than your curiosity. Let vague honestly be enough. You can ask if they want to talk about it, but be willing to let it go if they say no. Let that person know if they need a friend you are there. Let people tell you their secrets on their own terms. Give a person their privacy, and let God deal with the rest.

Here is the deal. My husband is in full-time ministry. I understand that I live in a glass house because of that. But I never signed up to tell everyone everything. If I need help or am going through something, I tell my close friends. If you ask how I'm doing and I smile and say "fine," it might be my "church face" and it might not. You should know that "fine" doesn't mean "great," so I'm not lying. You need to consider that I have my reasons for not wanting to share everything, and you need to trust me and God to work those things out. My point is: I have a "church face” and I am comfortable with that. You need to be, too.