dancing through the maze

We went to a funeral this weekend. Mr. Barnes was someone I didn't know very well, but I learned a lot about him and a life well spent. This man was a WWII vet. He was in the second wave at Normandy on D-Day. He was a free mason for over 50 years and raised a daughter, that wasn't his, like his own. He was the only man in his grandson's life and had a huge impact on his great-grandson. He lived out in the middle of nowhere, went to a small church and had a small family. He didn't have a huge circle of influence, but his life made a difference...to the world, to our country, and to those that knew him the best.

It started me thinking...what is a life well spent? A lot of times I have delusions of grandeur. I picture myself teaching woman about having a passion for God. I see my husband leading thousands of people into God's presence. On a smaller scale I have the desire to be the cool parent that all my kids' friends love, or to have a reputation that says I hear from God and can pray down heaven. But is all that really necessary to live a well spent life? These things are great and I will welcome them if they come, but what is necessary?

I learned again this week that it isn't the big things we do during our lives but the way we live our lives that make the difference. Was Mr. Barnes biggest influence on the beach among the thousands at Normandy, or was it the days he spent going fishing or throwing the baseball with his family? I bet I know what his great-grandson would say.

It is the small impacts we have on a daily basis that carry the most weight. Those who lead thousands do make a huge impact, but so does the mother that raised them. We seem to see life as a series of events (getting married, having kids, getting a job, getting that promotion) instead of the sum of our daily efforts. But everything we do carries weight and has an impact, and as a stay at home mom I am so grateful that it does. Some days seem mundane, like nothing I do matters. But when I think of a life well spent, investing in my children and those around me seems like a much nobler pursuit than achieving any kind of fame or status.

Aspirations are not bad, and it is great to have goals and to work toward something, but lets not forget that every day matters. And that a life lived in obedience to God is a life well spent, no matter how small it seems.


In Honor and Memory of Jasper L. Barnes 1916-2009

A lot of my blog posts are things that weigh on my mind so I thought this would be a good way to lighten things up. So on Fun Friday posts you can expect yummy recipes (not for your diet) crafts or other things I think you guys might enjoy. This fun Friday you get my super yummy peanut butter pie recipe....


Misty's Peanut Butter Pie

Ingredients:

1 graham cracker crust
¾ cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup powdered sugar
4 oz cream cheese (I use the reduced fat)
1 small tub cool whip
3 Tbls milk
2/3 cup mini chocolate chips
¾ cup nutella


mix peanut butter, cream cheese & sugar
Stir in cool whip and chips
set aside
slightly warm nutella in the microwave (10-15 sec.)
using a brush spread most of it on the bottom and sides of the crust (reserve 2-3 Tbls)
spread filling into crust (you will probably have a little too much)
spoon remaining nutella on top
spread and swirl over the top of the pie
chill for at least two hours

This super easy desert is a family favorite. I mean, who doesn't love peanut butter and chocolate?

Hope you try this and enjoy!!! :)

Our recent move was full of stress, as all moves are. My biggest hope was that the kids would adjust quickly. My little girl did. We have neighbors with girls her age and they became fast friends. Things weren't so easy for my son. He is a very outgoing boy and can play with just about anyone, but making an actual friend wasn't coming easy. I felt bad for him. He seemed bored and lonely, and even angry that Mercy had friends right next door. My heart was heavy and my most frequent prayer was that he would find a good friend.

Last week magic happened. Judah was playing basketball in the front yard and this boy came walking up, wanting to play. He is from two doors down and I'm not sure how we didn't meet before, but they hit it off. This was the moment I had been waiting for. They've played together almost every day since then. The funny thing is, now that things are right for Judah, things are right for me. I didn't realize how much of a burden his lonely-ness was to me until he made a friend and the burden was gone. I felt like everything became right in my world.

Because I love him I carried his burden. His sadness was my sadness, and his lack was my distress. My heart ached with the desire to make it better for him. I wished he didn't have to be affected by it at all. I wanted to take it the pain on myself.

If I feel this way about my son, how much more does Jesus feel this way about us? Matthew 11: 28 (NLT) says “ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”and 1 Peter 5:7 (Amplified Bible) says, “Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns], [once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.”

So what exactly does this mean for us? It means that the same compassion I had for Judah, Jesus has for us. And the intense desire I had to take away Judah's pain and carry it all myself, Jesus has that for us, too. The difference is Jesus can do what I could not. He really can take it away. He really can give us what we seek. Try as I might I could not be the friend Judah needed, and I couldn't make him feel better until he made that friend. It was a burden he had to bear. But it doesn't have to be that way for us, because God can do it! He can solve our problems, grant us peace, give us healing, or what ever else it is we need. Or He can take away the burden of our need until it is His timing to provide. The only catch? We have to let him. The bible says we have to cast the “whole of our care, once and for all on Him.”

Is it hard to leave our burdens at his feet? You better believe it. But the fact is, the longer we carry the burden, the more likely we are to try and fix it ourselves. And we all know how that turns out.......

Disclaimer: I looked up 1 statistic...the rest is my opinion...

I was watching part of The View this morning and they had all this stuff about match making and Valentine's Day and it got me thinking...a dangerous thing.

We have all heard the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but listen to this statistic I got off of divorcerate.org, "50% of first marriages, 67% of second, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, in Springfield, Missouri."

So let's break this thing down. It seems to me that the people who go in believing they have an out are the people who get divorced. It would explain why the 2nd and 3rd rates go up. They go in to marriage believing the "happily ever after" fairy tale and when that doesn't happen they take their planned escape and try again with someone else...and then again. You want to not only save your marriage but have a great one here's what you should do, say these words with me:

Divorce is not an option!!!!

Now, there are extenuating circumstances to this rule. I'm talking to the people with your average marriage. The people who may one day say they want a divorce because they just don't love each other anymore. I can just say this: THAT IS A LOAD OF BULL POOPIE! That is no reason to give up on a commitment you made to stay with this person "till death do you part". Adam and I wrote our own vows, but that was one phrase I made sure to include...'till death parts us...no other options!

The thing we miss so often in our feel good, pro-choice culture is that marriage is a choice, divorce is a choice, and yes to love, to continue to love is a choice. Yes love is an emotion, and like all emotions it can come and go. You have to choose to pro-actively love. It is not a choice that is easy to make at times. We have to push through hurt feelings or complacency. We have to love our spouse (here's the kicker) in a way that makes them feel loved, not the way that is easiest for us. We have to invest time and effort into our marriages. You know what makes you want to do that more than anything else...the knowledge that this is the only marriage you have and if you don't invest in it you'll live in misery. It is the plain and simple truth. If you have no other options you make it work. You choose to love, then your spouse chooses to love, then that old emotion returns with greater force because it is backed by a "no matter what" commitment.

Here's the deal: every marriage goes through tough times. Times when it really would be easier to give up, but is that the choice you want to make? Do you really want to be a quitter?



My favorite marriage book: The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman
Disclaimer #2: I am NOT "pro-choice", I AM pro-life...just wanted to make that clear. ;)

An odd expression, right? What does it even mean? Well, this the way I view my life. It's seems like having always been trying to find my way while my life twisted and turned around me. Many times I felt like the road just stopped and I had no where to turn.

I grew up the younger daughter of an alcoholic (my mom) and a drug addict (my dad). Now, before you start conjuring images of Law & Order nightmares, let me assure you it wasn't as bad as that. Let's just say there was a certain amount of instability and uncertainty growing up. I never seemed to quite get my footing before things would change. I was never sure if I would come home to find my mother cooking dinner, or mixing left over soup into a bowl of frosting because she forgot she was making a cake. Would Daddy be that fun loving man whose eyes would light up when I came outside to see him or would he be the man that hid in his tool shed, thinking he was hiding what he was doing from the world? With things never the same and ever changing I often felt aimless and alone, like my existence was unimportant.

When I was 6 I starting attending church with my aunt and I latched onto God with a fierce grip. Church was my place of peace and consistency. People were always the same there. I had found a place of comfort in the twists and turns of life. I treasured God and when He answered my prayers for my parents salvation I thought all would be well. I thought the path of my life would run straight into forever, no more searching...twisting... turning. Instead I found myself in my teenage years questioning everything and feeling more uncertain than ever. My dad struggled for many years after he gave his life to the Lord. Today, I do believe he was trying, but at that age all I could see was hypocrisy. I began to ask myself, “what is this faith that can't even sustain my dad...maybe I have been wrong all along.” I then began my own life of hypocrisy. In searching for who I was I loosened my grip on who God is. On occasions that I should have stood for Him I didn't. I did things I regret. At times I could feel walls of despair try to cave in over me, but God never allowed it. All long those paths lined with thorns and thistles, paths I choose, God was there. He always spoke peace and comfort to my heart and, even in those dark hours when I chose something over Him, He was there, not in anger, but in love.

Oddly enough it was in those hours that I learned the joy of serving my Lord. I didn't have to search in the dark and try to find my way. He was there, guiding, leading, loving, gently nudging me closer to the path He had for me. The Bible says that His word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path, (Ps. 119:105) and that the steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord (Ps 37:23). So in those dark hours I learned to find my way, not on my own, but by letting Him show me.

These are not all the twists and turns of my life. I have and will experience many more, and although I follow the path God has for me, it stills seems as though I walk through a maze. I am still searching, twisting, and turning...sometimes down an old path again, sometimes on new paths I have never seen before, but all the while God is with me. I can lean on Him and follow Him without having to find my own way. It isn't always easy, but I can take His joy as my strength and not only trudge through this life- but I can lay aside every weight and run. I can even dance through the maze...