dancing through the maze

I was watching Twilight the other day and something struck me. Now I know you are probably thinking “Bible lessons from a vampire movie? Come on, Misty.” But seriously, this movie made me see something in myself in had never seen before. Here is the scene: Edward (very handsome tortured soul, the vampire that refuses to drink human blood) and Bella (beautiful yet clumsy girl who is not your typical dramatic teenager) have fallen in love. They are perched in the top of a tree, and Edward is sitting on a branch ready to take Bella on the ride of her life, and she is hanging on to him for dear life. Then he asks her this question, “Do you trust me?”

Now Bella knows Edward is a vampire. She knows that he could kill her. She knows that it is a constant battle for him to avoid human blood. She also knows that because of his feelings her, his desire for her blood is that much more intense. She knows all these things that should keep her away, but she doesn't care. She has told him, “I trust you, you won't hurt me.” She surrendered her life to him. But perched in the top of that tree, when he asks if she trusts him, the best answer Bella can come up with is, “in theory.”

Wow!

How many times do we find ourselves like that with God? We surrender our lives to Him. We ask His will for us. We tell Him we will follow where ever He leads. We say we trust Him. But when the rubber meets the road, we hesitate. And many times the best we can come up with is, “I trust You, Lord...in theory.”

But what do we do when faced with a situation where theory has to become reality? We are faced with a decision. Do we stop? Duck and run? Find the safe way out? Or do we choose to trust? Psalm 56:4 says, “In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?” Notice he says in God I have put my trust, not I try to, not I think I have, not I will, but I have. It is a done deal. We have to make that choice, and not back track when things seem uncertain. We have to force the theory to become reality in our lives. We have to trust. It really is that simple. Do you trust Him or not?

I know in my life I seem to have constant questions about what God is doing and why, but the real question is...do I trust Him? If I do then the answers shouldn't matter as much as they do. I'm coming to realize that I don't trust Him as I should. There are conditions on my trust. I have to understand to trust. I have to know the plan to trust. I need to have at least a small sense of control to trust. But then, that isn't really trusting, is it? I need to make the theory reality for myself. So I say today, “I have put my trust in God. It is a done deal for me, now. No more theories. It is reality for me. Lord, just remind me of that tomorrow, and the next day, and the next...”

My son discovered basketball this year. In the past Adam had tried to get Judah to watch the Tarheels with him, but Judah couldn't stay interested that long. This year it began. My kids have known from birth that we were Tarheel fans. It was in their blood, but this year it all came out for Judah. Now, those of you who know my son know that he is very...shall we say passionate. There is very little middle ground with him, so when he began to enjoy watching basketball his passion for the Heels nearly out weighed his dad's. He was even more passionate about his favorite player Tyler Hansbrough. In Judah's mind he was the best player that has ever lived.

When we moved to Raleigh in January it became Adam's mission to go to as many games as he could. He went to one with friends, took me to one, and got free tickets to 2 of the women's games. To those he took Judah and Mercy to one and his mom to the other. It was all very fun and we were all content with our basketball experience until the Tarheels made it to the finals.

Adam wanted to go so badly, but settled for watching it on our couch in HD (poor baby). Judah was completely thrilled that we let him stay up to watch the game until he realized that this was Tyler's last game as a tarheel. He didn't overreact he just got this sad look on his face and said “you mean I'll never get to see him play in person?” It made me sad, but I thought he would be able to get over it and he did.

Well, when they won Judah was thrilled, and Adam decided to check him out of school the next day to take him to the Dean Dome for the welcome home celebration. They had so much fun, Father and son, sharing a passion and celebration that might not happen again. I was so happy for them. But Judah's sad face was still on my mind so when we heard of a benefit game Tyler and the other seniors from that team were doing we bought tickets. My baby was going to see Tyler play. I was very happy. Adam even let me take the credit for this one since he got to take him to the celebration.

Adam got in line 3 hours early because the players were supposed to sign autographs for 30 minutes before the game. We met him there and we all waited and talked with the people around us and made the best of it. It looked like we were sure to get in for the autographs, but then...They started lining up the people with VIP tickets to go in first. There was nothing about this on the game website so I was NOT happy. We were still hoping but we talked to Judah and prepared him that he may not get his jersey autographed. He was sad, but ok. Well, after they let in the VIPs they opened all the general admission gates and people were jumping lines and running and acting crazy. Mercy was scared so Adam took her to sit down and I stood in line with Judah and realized that it really wasn't going to work. We were just too far back in line. Then I heard Adam say "throw me Judah's jersey." I was confused, but I did, and I saw him throw it over the side of the bleachers.

I got out of line and asked what was going on. He said, "Jerry made it through." Jerry was the really nice man standing behind us in line. How he got past us, I don't know. The thing was, I knew Jerry had a ball he wanted signed, and they were only allowing one autograph per person, so I was still sad until...Jerry came to sit down with us and gave Judah his jersey. I didn't see it at first, but when I heard Judah scream I knew what had happened. Jerry, when faced with an unexpected, and last minute decision, chose my son over himself.

What no one knew at that point was that momma had been praying. I knew how much Judah would love to have a Hansbrough autograph. Adam and I had even looked at buying one on-line, but they are so expensive. So since we moved to Raleigh I had been praying a simple prayer, “Lord, it would be really cool if Judah could get that autograph. If you want to do something for me, do this for him.” In that line, I thought the answer to my prayer was no. I was ok, but it was just something I really wanted to do for my baby. And as I stood there fighting tears, Jerry made a choice. I'm sure he thought he was just doing something nice for a kid, but he was really an answer to a prayer.

I'm coming to understand more and more that in our lives it is the little things that matter most. A lot of people say “don't sweat the small stuff,” but I disagree. It is the small stuff that we do, the random acts of kindness that mean the most to others. You would never think that a guy getting Judah's jersey signed would show me how much God loves me, but it did. So the next time you want to show your love, stick with the small stuff. It says the most.

Wait... I think I know what it means to wait. I've waited for appointments at doctors offices, in lines at stores and for the traffic light to change. I've waited for my kids to get ready, for my husband to finish a game, and for the sermon to be over so I can go to lunch. I've waited for a movie to start, for dinner to be done, for bed time to finally get here. I'm familiar with waiting. It seems like I've been waiting all my life. But waiting on the Lord? Now that is a challenge. I thought I knew what it meant to wait on God. You know those awesome times in God's presence that no one knows what to say or do? You just wait for what God is going to do next. But is that really waiting or is that expectancy? What does it mean to wait on the Lord. David talks a lot about waiting for God. It seems like most of the time he said he needed to wait he was facing desperate times. I think I found that place this week.

It has been a hard week. You know the saying “when it rains it pours”? Yeah, it has been one of those weeks. I won't got into all the details, but lets just suffice it to say we have had MAJOR issues to deal with this week and this morning I got to a desperate place. You see I am normally of the mind set “let me throw my fit and then I can deal with this like I should”. You ever been there? You just really need to throw a good old-fashioned conniption fit. (for those of you not from the South that is a really big tantrum). I think that is an ok place to be, and I've done it a lot, but this morning...this morning I couldn't even throw a fit. I had just had to much. I couldn't talk, I couldn't think, I didn't know what to do. And in that moment I knew I had to wait... Not wait for my words to return or even my good sense, but it was time to WAIT on the Lord, so that is what I did. I sat and I waited. Nothing major happened. But slowly I heard Him speaking. I heard Him say that He was with me, and that when things seem to be falling apart...there is purpose in the madness. He didn't solve my problems, but He gave me what I needed to face them. It makes you think...”Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!” (Psalm 27:3) Humm. I think I am beginning to know what that means. I just hope next time I can decide to wait on Him a lot sooner. Why did I wait until I had no other option? Why do I wait for everything else but God? It is a good question. I don't want to know the answer, I want to change the answer. This is what I should do, “My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.” (Psalm 62:5, emphasis added).

I love that verse for many reasons, but I think my favorite is... he is talking to himself! He is telling his own soul to wait, don't react, wait. I love that. If you read the chapter you will find he tells himself to wait more than once. I think that is the boat I am in. I need to just keep telling myself to wait. Wait, wait, and keep waiting...for God alone.

Signs follow where God is working.

A simple statement, but a loaded meaning. It is true? I have always hesitated to put it that simply. We just don't see much in the way of signs and wonders these days. And to be honest when we do, our first instinct is to not believe or make fun. I mean look at the Brownsville Revival that happened in the 90's. God was at work, but those people were criticized and made fun of. So many doubted it was of God...but people were changed and healed, and miracles happened there. Why do we doubt? Why is the church so surprised when God actually does something?

I got an email from a friend this week that I would like to share with you. I heard a rumor about his Sun. night service and asked him about it. This was his response:

“It’s true Misty. I had finished preaching and really didn’t give an alter invitation. The night before I had preached on the official duty of the church to rescue people from behind the gates of hell who were waiting to slip into eternity lost forever. So, the next night I had people doing just that. They were praying for each other…and it was loud and fervent prayer across the sanctuary. Well, one guy comes up to me and throws his cigarettes on the altar. Bear in mind, I didn’t solicit for anyone to come forward, he just did it. He said he led praise and worship somewhere and now God wanted him free. Not 30 seconds later, a teenage girl comes forward and says she’s been doing drugs and she told me that tonight was her night to be free. We prayed and she had her first experience with God right there on the spot. Then someone led me to the side of the church on the front row. There the teenagers mother was sitting crying. She said she wanted to be saved and was involved in the Jehovah’s Witness cult. I started leading her in prayer and asked her to pray after me. “Jesus, you are Lord.” As she started to pray she started hyperventilating. I tried again. She did the same thing. I recognized that this was a demonic spirit, so I told her to be calm and not say a word right now that I would pray for her first. I just said a simple prayer, “Lord fill this room with your total presence and banish any hindering forces from this place.” There was no fighting or foaming at the mouth… She just went limp, laid back, relaxed and could breath. I immediately had her pray after me and she prayed to receive Christ and confess him as Lord. Afterward, I had her lay her hands on her daughter, the teen who wanted to be free from drugs. She did so and pronounced a mothers blessing over her child for the first time ever. That’s when it happened. A woman seated just about in the center of the sanctuary screamed “I can see. I can see.” I walked over to see what was going on and a blind lady who had been attending our church for years was able to see. She followed me around the sanctuary and even gave me her red/white walking cane. She said that she would not be needing this any longer. What’s hilarious is I saw her yesterday morning going into the Ophthalmologists’ office. She walked in just like you or I would walk in. I told Tammie afterward that I bet she is going to get cleared to get her driver’s license.

Misty, these are things we have believed for our whole lives. Yet, we failed to see them because no one really has seen the church be the church in a long long time. Part of my passion is to see the church alive, healthy and doing God’s work in the earth. Signs follow where God is working.”

What is your first reaction to that? Are you cynical? If you are maybe that is the reason we don't see more of this stuff. Do we really believe God? Jesus said in John 14:12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to my Father.” I have heard people say that this verse refers to us being able to take the gospel everywhere through technology they didn't have then, but...the verse says greater “works.” So what works did Jesus do? He ministered to people, rescued them, delivered them, healed them, changed them. He didn't just pray and walk away without something happening. I think a better way to put it is: He didn't walk away, He prayed and something happened. I wonder if God isn't moving because His people don't believe...and don't pray. I can't remember ever walking up to someone who couldn't walk and telling them to get up, but that is what Jesus did... and his disciples... and Paul. I think the best thing for me to do right now is pray this prayer (Acts 4: 29b-30)


“grant to Your servants that with all boldness they may speak Your word, by stretching out Your hand to heal, and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of Your holy Servant Jesus.”


Let it be so for me, In Jesus Name...
Amen!