Most of the time I blame my son's behavior on my husband. I've said many times that Judah is just another Adam. He does things that confuse me, and don't make sense to me, and just plain aggravate the mess out of me. And that is ALL Adam's genes coming through. People often say that the child that is more like you is more of a challenge. Well, I have disagreed with that for a while now. I have said that because Mercy is more like me, I understand her and know what to do with her. Judah is just this unknown entity to me. Well, the other day Judah was doing something that was really driving me up the wall and it hit me. I used to do that. It wasn't exactly the same, it came across in a more masculine form, but it was the same thing. This was my fault. This was my genetic material shining through and driving me crazy. I began to look at things a little differently then. I began to ask myself questions like, when I was a kid what would have helped me in this situation, and guess what? It helps him. I was staggered. I had been so busy blaming my husband for certain things about my son, that I couldn't see myself in it. That got me wondering. . . where else am I blaming others for my faults?

When I lose my temper, I might say, “well, (s)he made me mad!) The reality is no matter what they did it isn't their fault I can't control myself.

When I call a guy a name when he just cut me off in traffic, I say, “its their fault! They are driving like a maniac!” When the truth is my tongue and what comes out of my mouth are my business.

When I blame Adam and the kids for not keeping the house orderly, I never take the time too see my things laying around as well. Maybe I need to set a better example.

When I blame others for taking advantage of me, maybe I need to stop allowing them to do it.

When I blame others for not seeing my side of things maybe I need to take a minute to see theirs.

When I blame other for my problems maybe I need to take an honest look in the mirror and re-evaluate.

We are all so fast to blame everyone else for everything we don't like. It is very rare that any of us takes the time to really look at a situation and see our own fault in it. We don't want to accept how much of what goes wrong can be traced right back to ourselves. The thing is when we truly see where the problem is we can really begin to work on a solution. If I hadn't taken the time to see my faults in my son I never would have found a way to help him deal with it. If I had continued to play the blame game it would have been my son who suffered the consequences not me or my husband. I wonder how many people suffer because we blame everyone else but ourselves. Food for thought. . .