I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with God. Honestly I've been feeling very guilty about my relationship with God. I don't pray enough, I don't read my bible enough, I don't spend enough time alone with the Lord. Like I said...very guilty. I see people who say they get up at 5:00 am just to spend time with God, and all I can say is; “Really?! 5 AM!?” Then the guilt comes again. I am NOT a morning person. I know a lot of people say that, but honestly if I get up to early I feel nauseous. I guess a more honest way to say that is if I don't get enough sleep, I feel nauseous. I hear all these people talk about spending hours in the word. I don't have the attention span for that. I go cross-eyed after a while. And as far as being alone with the Lord...I can't even go to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door.

So how does a relationship with God work for me (or you)? That is the question that is on my mind these days.

I started thinking about the relationships I have in my life to get clues. My mom and dad live 1 ½ away. I see them more now than I used to, but I still only talk to them about once every other week or so, and our relationship is fine. I love them they love me, we enjoy each other when we are together. I don't see anything wrong with that, but I do miss them sometimes. My best friend lives in 3 ½ hours away. I only see her once a month or so. Sometimes we talk everyday, and sometimes we go a week or more without talking. But I always want to talk to her. I don't see anything wrong with that either. Coming a little closer home...I LOVE my husband. There are times that we spend hours talking about nothing. There are also times that life is so busy that we barely say “ Good morning, goodbye. I love you, good night” in a day. I really don't like those times. I much prefer the times we spend talking, mostly, sometimes I don't want to talk.

So how does it translate? Here are things I notice...

1.I don't have rules in my closest relationships. I spend time with them when I want to, and because I WANT to...not because I make myself.
2.Sometimes I don't have time or energy for relational things, and everyone understands that.
3.When I don't have the time...I miss those people, and I want to spend more time with them.
4.These people make my life full. They make me laugh and are there for me when I cry. I share my life with them.

What I am learning is that God wants us to be in true relationship with Him. He wants us to share our lives with Him. He wants a relationship that is real. Not one founded on a sense of obligation or rule following, or even commitment, but one founded on desire for fellowship. God wants to be a part of our lives...not as a supervisor whose rules you follow, but as a friend who you include and share with. And He wants us to spend more time with Him, not because we feel guilty, but because we want to.

The funny thing is: the more I learn about Him and His desire for relationship with me, the more I genuinely want to spend more time with Him. And those times that are so busy... I miss Him terribly. I think that is the natural cycle of things. God is pretty smart, you know. He set us up. When we miss Him we want more, when we get more, we want even more. Sometimes we may get to a time that life is busy and we miss Him again...but then we want more.

If getting up at 5am works for you, great! But if it doesn't, don't feel guilty. It is your relationship with God and it is up to you and God to live it out. Just don't allow those times of busy-ness to separate you for too long. Any relationship can grow stagnant with a lack of communication.